Who Am I Now? (Spoilers for Dark Matter)
by Much
Summary: How does Liam deal with the loss of his Kimera heritage after Dark Matter?


Spoilers for Dark Matter.  
  
I know that it is long, but please bear with me! It's worth it!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Who Am I Now?  
  
Liam seated himself behind his desk at the Washington Embassy and sighed deeply. Now that all the paperwork concerning the incident with the Dark Matter had been done and he had made his report to Zo´or and the Synod, before flying Da´an back to the Embassy, he finally had some time to go over the events of the day. And some day it had been.  
  
On waking this morning he had had no idea that before the day was out he would come very close at dying on the hands of his human father, only to be saved by the sudden appearance of his alien one.  
  
Ha´gel. Now there was an enigma. It seemed the Kimeran had cheated death that day inside St. Michael's Church, just hours before his son was born. Though he no longer possessed a physical body, spiritually he seemed stronger than ever.  
  
Warily Liam rubbed his face, then opened his eyes to look at his hands for the umpteenth time. Turning his palms upward he stared at them in total amazement. The faint reddish marks of his Shaqarava really were gone. And he had no idea how to deal with that.  
  
Should he be glad to be rid of them? Probably. From the moment he had been born they had set him apart from every other human being on this planet. They were the only outward sign of his alien nature, had posted a certain amount of danger to him. And he had hated them so much on more than one occasion in his short life. So, good riddance, he would have thought.  
  
But then why didn't he feel happy and relieved? Where did the gaping hole in his heart come from? He had not felt this empty since the day his mother died. Why did his hands feel as though the organs were still there, when his eyes very clearly saw that they were not?  
  
What impact would all of this have on his life as Da´an´s Protector? The Shaqarava had been his only line of defense against the Jaridian Replicant. Would Da´an now require him to be implanted with a CVI? Would he have to get a Skrill? He shuddered at the thought.  
  
Sighing Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. And this day was far from over. A sudden, soft sound behind him made him whirl to see Da´an standing on the ramp above him. Liam had no idea how long the Taelon had been there.  
  
"Is there anything I can do for you, Da´an?" He asked much more harshly than he had intended. But he did not need more distractions right now. He needed time to think, to work out his feelings.  
  
For a moment Da´an just stood there, observing him, the subtle movements of his hands the only indication that the tone of Liam´s words had hurt him. Then he moved down the ramp.  
  
"I require nothing of you, Liam. I came to tell you that I want you to go home and get some rest," He said softly, "You were deep in thought, Liam. Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine, Da´an. I'm just tired, that's all. This day was just full of surprises."  
  
"Yes, it was. I was in particular surprised by your suggestion."  
  
"We've been over that already, Da´an. Can we not have this conversation some other time? I want to go home and get some sleep."  
  
"Of course, Liam. But we will have to talk soon," Da´an said and Liam nodded.  
  
"I agree. Would you please excuse me now?"  
  
"You are excused, Liam," Da´an nodded and he watched his Protector walk up the ramp. Liam did not look back, but he could feel the eyes of the Taelon on his back, along with a sensation of deep sorrow and regret. It found an echo in himself. During the first few months of his life he had shared a rare bond with the Taelon, one that went beyond the call of his regular duties as a Protector. Over time that bond head deepened into friendship. Then came the crackdown and Da'an's betrayal of the Resistance. Though Liam now understood Da´an´s reasons for what he had done, his actions had cost him Liam´s friendship and his trust. And though they had both seen signs of the friendship returning over the last couple of months, both also knew that the trust was gone forever. Had that not been the case Liam might have told Da´an about his Shaqarava and Ha´gel.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Instead Liam drove home and locked the door behind him. Kicking off his shoes he made his way upstairs to his bathroom. Pulling the door closed behind him he stripped and turned on the shower. Feeling the hot water cascade down his back he felt the knots in his shoulders relax slowly and he let out a contented sigh. This felt so good. But his mind still chose to follow the dark paths of before and in the end he turned the water off and toweled dry. Dressing in shorts and a T-shirt he went into his bedroom and flopped onto his bed to stare up at the dark ceiling. His stomach growled in hunger, but he ignored it, feeling too tired to move.  
  
No, make that too drained. It felt as if the last ever blast from his Shaqarava had taken all his energy with it. What had Ha´gel said again? That dispelling the Dark Matter would take all of his Kimera energy? Well, it certainly felt like it had done that. Turning over onto his left side he once again stared at his empty palms. In the dark he could not make out much and for a moment it felt as though his hands were still intact. Try as he might though he could not activate his Shaqarava. That came as no surprise. Even had they still been there, he would have been powerless to use them.  
  
Ever since catching that blast from the Replicant at Mount Weather his Shaqarava had been useless. And now his mind knew all too well that the tiny organs were gone, even as his body insisted otherwise. He remembered reading somewhere that amputees often still felt their missing limbs, even years after losing them. Maybe the same now applied to him. Rolling back onto his back he threw an arm across his eyes and sighed deeply. He needed to talk to Ha´gel, to have him explain what was happening to him and why. But most of all he needed to feel that love again, the same love he'd felt from his father that afternoon. It had felt so good to be so completely accepted. Even now, recalling how his father had told him that he was proud of him, Liam felt a strange kind of warm glow spread throughout his body. Those simple words somehow made him whole again, washing away the abuse he still suffered daily from his human father, Ronald Sandoval.  
  
He no longer harbored any hope of ever building a normal father/son relationship with the FBI agent. If his torture at the hands of Sandoval had not made him see that truth, them certainly today's events would have. Sandoval had wanted him dead when he had raised his arm and fired his Skrill and he would have succeeded had Ha´gel not intervened. A shudder coursed though him as he recalled the hatred in Sandoval's eyes in that moment. No, if he was completely honest to himself he was glad that Sandoval would never learn the truth. Because of the way he used both humanity and the Taelons to further his own agenda his son now turned away from him and the father would never know the truth.  
  
Liam felt a sudden, lonely tear escape his eye to roll down his cheek before getting soaked up by the pillow beneath his head. Angry at himself he harshly wiped the tears away. He had promised himself not to cry over losing his last living parent and he wouldn't do so now. Sandoval just wasn't worth it. He had other things to spend his energy on.  
  
Realizing that he would not be able to get any sleep at all in his current state of mind he finally got off the bed to grab his jeans where he'd dropped them earlier. Putting them on he went downstairs to put on a pair of sneakers before leaving his apartment. Once behind the wheel of his car he pondered where to go. He needed a place quiet enough to get some thinking done. Only one place sprang to mind and soon he parked his car across the street from St. Michael's Church. He got out and slowly walked up to the monumental building, studying it's facade for a moment. Funny how he had been coming here all his life without ever seeing how beautiful the old building was. Right now, with the moon shining brightly, it looked oddly peaceful and completely out of place in this part of DC.  
  
Pushing open the huge wooden doors he stepped inside and waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness before moving deeper into the church. Out of habit his eyes flicked over to the concealed DNA-scanner in the back wall and a small smile brightened up his features for a moment. He had never believed himself old enough to develop habits until now.  
  
His feet carried him in a different direction though. Slowly he walked past the place where William Boone had received his fatal injury. He felt sorry that he hadn't known his predecessor personally, though he remembered the man through his parents memories. William Boone had been quite a man and Liam felt certain they would have become friends had he lived.  
  
The next place he came across made him smile ruefully. This was the place of his conception and he knew that if he concentrated he would be able to access his mother's memory of the event. Closing his eyes he recalled the images Siobhan Beckett had shown him during their brief sharing in the caves where she had died and he smiled. She had made him feel the way Ha´gel had soothed her when he had sensed her fear, showing her an image of the baby she would shortly bare. She had panicked when under the enormous strain of the joining her CVI had started to give way, but in that same moment she had felt, deep within herself, the tiny spark of life and she had cried out in joy and happiness.  
  
Liam tore himself away from the memories with difficulty and opened his eyes. Even if Ha´gel had been driven by a biological imperative and the joining had not been about love, he took solace in the realization that with it came the fulfillment of his mother's life ambition, to be a mother. She had wanted and loved him with all her heart. Smiling Liam crouched down to run his fingers over the ancient stones as if he could somehow touch her through the residual energy still present in this spot.  
  
Straightening he turned back to the place he had originally been aiming for and suddenly he hesitated. The faint energy lurking in this place held no joy. Ha´gel´s memories of his own impeding death had tainted the stones he looked at now and he knew that if he touched that energy the memories might overwhelm him. He remembered his own "death" all too clearly, that time when he had tried to rescue Augur and Maya from the "sleeper" state they had been in. Then there had been no fear, only an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. He'd felt even slightly disappointed when Ha´gel had shown up to sent him back out among the living. But Ha´gel´s own death had not been so peaceful. It had been full of pain and violence. For a couple of moments Liam stood there looking at the stones where he imagined his father's body had lain. Then he found himself a spot along the nearest wall and he sat down.  
  
He pulled his knees up to his chest to rest his arms on them. From the stones beneath him the cold slowly made it's way up his buttocks to his back and goosebumps stood out on his bare arms. He ignored it, concentrated instead on the conflicting emotions within himself. Sighing he rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes. Now even more than ever he needed to have Ha´gel explain to him what was happening. He needed for Ha´gel to tell him that everything would be alright. Instead his father had left him with nothing but riddles about his future and he was resigned to waiting for the next thing to happen. For the umpteenth time he cursed the circumstances of his birth. Why could he not have been born a normal human being, instead of being the only human/Kimeran hybrid on this planet? All he'd ever wanted was to be a normal person with a normal life and normal worries. Instead he was living the most complicated life he could ever have imagined and he knew that he would not have it any other way, no matter how much he got hurt sometimes. Now there was a contradiction.  
  
To his right the doors of the elevator swished open, immediately followed by the clicks of high heels on stones. Great, another contradiction, this one going by the name of Renee Palmer. And this contradiction let out a yelp of fright when she saw him sitting in the shadows.  
  
"Damn it, Kincaid! You just about gave me a heart-attack! What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed at him.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing, Palmer," answered Liam dryly.  
  
"Well, I couldn't sleep so I came here to do some work. What's your excuse?"  
  
"Pretty much the same. I couldn't sleep either."  
  
"It's been one hell of a day," nodded Renee as she slowly walked up to him and pointed at the stones next to him, "Is this seat taken?"  
  
"No, it isn't. Be warned though. These stones are damn cold," said Liam and Renee shrugged, before sitting herself down.  
  
"I´ll take my chances. But you're right. These things are cold. How long have you been here?"  
  
"Not long enough. What about you?"  
  
"About two hours. I went home thinking to get an early night, but my mind had other plans. Thoughts just kept running around in my head. I guess what happened today has me spooked worse than I thought. Still, I don't regret saving the Taelons."  
  
"Me neither," muttered Liam quietly and a deep silence followed.  
  
Renee studied her friend's dark profile next to her and wondered what went through his mind. He was tense and somber. If only he would open up to her. Their friendship was a weird one with both of them liking each other most of the time and not trusting each other as far as their noses were long the rest of the time. Their goals were both the same and somehow different enough to sometimes drive her mad.  
  
"Something else happened up there, after you send me back to Earth, didn't it?" she asked carefully, not really expecting him to answer.  
  
"Yeah," he sighed and he looked down at his hands before speaking again, "I lost my Shaqarava, Renee."  
  
Pandemonium! If he had not been feeling so depressed he might actually have laughed as Renee's mouth sagged open at his sudden announcement. This she had not been expecting and it took her a couple of moments to regain her composure. "Come again?" she finally asked, a little breathlessly.  
  
"My Shaqarava are gone," he said softly, "I'm fully human."  
  
"And that happened when and how?" The tone of her voice made it clear she did not believe him and Liam suddenly wished he'd kept his mouth shut. Of course Renee wouldn't believe him and he could not expect her to. Hell, he even questioned what happened himself. Hugging himself he stared at the stones between his feet, wishing he could turn back time to before any of this had happened.  
  
"Liam? Tell me, please?" asked Renee when some minutes had passed without a reaction from him. Inwardly she cursed her lack of finesse. She should have thought things through before blurting out that question, driving him further into isolation. Somehow this always happened between them.  
  
"Give me one good reason why I should, Renee! Will you suddenly start believing me when I tell you? Of course not!" Liam said forcefully and all the feelings that had been confusing him, keeping him tense, suddenly poured out, "You've despised me ever since I told you who I am! What I am! I'm so tired of it! I'm not a freak, Renee!"  
  
"Liam, I never." started Renee, but he did not let her finish. Getting up from the floor he walked away from her without looking back.  
  
She watched his back as he stormed out of the church and hugged herself. She knew she did not deserve the way he had mouthed off at her, but she also knew that the things he had said where not directed at her personally. Still his words and obvious distrust stung. Sighing she pushed herself off the floor, heading for the door. This was going to be another long night without sleep. The story of her life lately.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Liam slammed the door of his car shut behind him and gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. Damn him for shouting at her like that. For using her as a punching bag for his pent up emotions. He knew damn well that she not did deserve it, though some small part of his mind cheered him for showing her who's boss. Resting his head on his hands he smiled a little. He would have to go to her home tomorrow morning with a big box of her favorite chocolates to humbly seek her forgiveness. She would give it, he knew. She always did. As did he. They needed each other too badly not to.  
  
He needed to talk about this whole mess with someone he could trust unconditionally and he wondered if Melissa Park would still be awake.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Parking the car in front of her house he felt relieved when he saw that her lights still burned. But at the same time he felt remorse at disturbing her this late. His watch showed it to be almost 2 in the morning. Any normal human being would be sleeping now. With a tiny grimace Liam suddenly realized that that included him now that he no longer had his Kimeran DNA.  
  
Getting out of the car he walked up to her front door and rang the bell. A few moments later the light in the hallway behind the door was turned on and Melissa opened the door for him.  
  
"Liam, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here at this hour?" she greeted him. "I needed to talk. But I could come back tomorrow. You look like you're about ready for bed."  
  
Glancing down at her very comfortable old PJ´s Melissa smiled at him. "Not really. I just came out of the late shift and was planning to spend some time on the couch reading before I turned in. I always have to relax a little after work. But don't keep standing there. It's a lot warmer in here."  
  
Walking past her Liam moved into her living room. As always he noticed the huge difference between her living room and his own. Where hers was cozy and elegantly furnished his was Spartan at best. He always instantly felt at home in this house.  
  
"Have a seat. I was just about to make some tea. You want some?" asked Melissa as she pointed to her couch and Liam nodded.  
  
"Yeah, thanks."  
  
"I´ll be right back."  
  
As she moved to her kitchen Liam picked up the book she had been reading. It was called Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay and it looked thoroughly worn, as though she had read it over and over again. Just as he began leafing through it Melissa returned to hand him a steaming glass of herbal tea. She nodded at seeing the book in his hands and seated herself next to him.  
  
"You should read it sometime. It's good. One of my favorites," she commented as she held out a platter with cookies to him.  
  
"Thanks. Maybe I will. I just wish I had more time to read," he sighed and she raised her eyebrows at him.  
  
"Are the Taelons keeping you busy?"  
  
"Them and the Resistance."  
  
"I heard on the news tonight that something happened on the Mothership."  
  
"What did they say about it?"  
  
"Not much. Just that the Mothership was experiencing some technical difficulties, but that is would be fixed shortly. I take it that's not the whole story, now is it?"  
  
"No, it isn't," smiled Liam and he told her all that had happened that day. Only when he came to his run in with Ha´gel did he stop.  
  
"Well, you've certainly been kept busy," commented Melissa dryly. She observed Liam as he drank his tea and noticed the tension in the way he held himself and the uncertainty in his eyes as he raised his head to look at her. Dark lines beneath his eyes betrayed his exhaustion. His face suddenly looked pale and drawn. Something was deeply disturbing him.  
  
"Liam, why don't you tell me why you're really here?" she asked him.  
  
"How did you know?" he asked and she smiled at him.  
  
"I've known you all your life, Liam."  
  
Liam took a deep breath to steady his nerves, put down the glass and stretched his hands out, palms upturned. He watched Melissa's face as he did so and saw her surprise. Carefully she took his hands in her own to study his unmarked palms more closely and she whistled softly.  
  
"Ha'gel did this to you?" she asked.  
  
"Not exactly. He told me that the bomb would not do the job, but that a blast from my Shaqarava would. He also told me that that would cost me all my Kimeran energy, making me fully human. He gave me a choice that that was no choice at all. I had to save the Mothership."  
  
"And now you think you're fully human?" asked Melissa and Liam flinched at the disbelief in her voice. He could take disbelief from Renee, had come to expect it. But accepting it from this woman who had been a sort off mother to him all his life was a whole different ballgame.  
  
Melissa saw the faint flicker of disappointment on his face for just a moment. Then the impassive face he wore when dealing with the Taelons slipped into place and he started to rise. Melissa's hand on his arm stopped him.  
  
"Liam, I'm sorry. I did not mean for that to come out the way it did," she said, cursing herself for not being more sensitive to his feelings. This obviously affected him a great deal and she had not shown much understanding in that one question.  
  
"It's okay, Melissa. I can't blame you for not believing me. Renee did not believe me either," he said, a resigned tone in his voice, "I should go home."  
  
"Don't do this, Liam. I do want to believe you, but the scientist in me won't let me. Changing someone's DNA in a matter of moments is impossible. It just can't be done."  
  
"Many other things were thought to be impossible before the Taelons showed up," offered Liam and Melissa laughed.  
  
"You're absolutely right, Liam. And just because I don't believe it now, doesn't mean that I won't believe it if I see proof of it with my own eyes. I've learned to keep an open mind. A few years ago I wouldn't have believed in aliens and hybrids either and yet I'm talking to one now."  
  
That brought out a small, almost shy smile on Liam's face and he relaxed slightly. Melissa felt relief at that. It was so easy to see him as the adult he showed to the world, but in moments like this she was once again painfully reminded of the little boy hiding behind the grown-up exterior. And that little boy needed to have his fears taken away right now.  
  
"The best I can do at such short notice is a blood test and a general scan. For more detailed tests you'll have to come to DC General," she said and Liam nodded.  
  
"I'll take anything you can give me, Melissa. Right now I don't feel like myself at all and I don't like that feeling one bit."  
  
"I'll get my bag then."  
  
Melissa got up and went into the hall, leaving Liam momentarily alone with his fears. He desperately needed to know how much his actions onboard the Mothership had changed him, but at the same time a small voice in the back of his mind whispered at him to get up and run. That there was no need to know. That he could live on without knowing it. He forced himself to ignore the voice and got up when Melissa came back in, carrying her medical bag. She put it on the desk at the other side of the room and pulled up a chair.  
  
"Come sit here for a moment," she said and he obeyed. He watched her as she rolled the left sleeve of his T-shirt up to his shoulder and took a syringe from the bag. She deftly sank the needle into his arm, making him wince slightly.  
  
"Baby," she accused as she gently pulled the blood out.  
  
"Easy for you to say, Park. You're the one wielding the damn needle," complained Liam as he watched her pull the needle out and press some gauze against the small puncture wound.  
  
She turned away from him and dripped some of the blood onto the small device that would analyse the blood for any anomalies in a matter of moments. Next she took her scanner out of her bag. Officially she should not have this equipment at home, but with her involvement in the Resistance she found it necessary to bend the rules a little. She and Julienne Belman were on call 24 hours as the only experts on Liam's alien heritage.  
  
Turning the scanner on she typed in the right parameters for Liam and then proceeded to run the device over his torso and abdomen, watching intently as the readings flashed across the device's display. Liam watched her face as she did so and saw her frown at what she saw. Fear gnawed at his insides.  
  
"What?" he asked, not quite succeeding in keeping the slight quiver from his voice. Melissa looked up at that and saw the fear in his eyes. She hurried to reassure him.  
  
"Don't be afraid, Liam. The scan just indicates that your energy matrix is low, almost dangerously so."  
  
"I have been feeling tired, since I came back from the Mothership," Liam admitted, still not completely at ease. Melissa smiled up at him.  
  
"Other than that, you look the same as you always have, apart of course from your Shaqarava, but that we already know." she said. Behind her the other device bleeped suddenly, indicating that it had finished analyzing Liam's blood and she got up to get it.  
  
Liam suddenly found his hands to be shaking as she brought the device back with her.  
  
"We're done here, Liam. Let's go back to the couch," she said and he felt fresh apprehension rise up inside. Something was wrong, he knew, as he followed her to the couch and sat down. Melissa turned towards him and smiled.  
  
"Liam, what I said before about it being impossible to change someone's DNA is true. The blood test clearly shows your triple DNA helix to be intact. You're still one-third Kimeran," she said and she saw the news hit home as he stared at her in amazement.  
  
"You're sure about that?" he said and she nodded.  
  
"Positive, Liam."  
  
"But I don't understand. Ha'gel said that I would be fully human."  
  
"Maybe Ha'gel was wrong or he meant that you would become more human, instead of completely human. I don't know. But the test doesn't lie."  
  
Her gaze followed Liam as he got up from the couch to pace the width of the room, a frown creasing his forehead as he tried to process this new information, and she smiled. He did not know how much he resembled Sandoval in that way. The FBI agent too had paced a lot when he'd been sick, waiting impatiently for the result of his own tests.  
  
"If this is true and I'm still a hybrid, then why are my Shaqarava gone?" Liam asked suddenly and she looked up at him.  
  
"I don't know, Liam. I may be the leading expert on your physiology, but there's still so much I don't know about what's normal for you. For all we know this could be a part of the development of any Kimeran child. There's no way of knowing." She paused and thought for a moment as Liam resumed his pacing, "Didn't you tell me that your Shaqarava had been inactive for quite some time?"  
  
"Ever since I caught the blast of that Jaridian probe at Mount Weather," nodded Liam as he stopped again and looked at her, frowning, "Do you mean that catching that blast had nothing to do with that?"  
  
"I don't know for sure, but it could be. Maybe they were meant to go inactive and it just coincided with what happened at Mount Weather."  
  
"That's certainly one possibility I never thought off before. I've always wondered what happened that day. I remember seeing the blast come at Augur and I raised my hands instinctively to protect him. It hurt terribly and I blacked out for a moment. When I came too I expected it to hurt, because I thought my Shaqarava had been damaged somehow, but I never felt a thing. I just couldn't get them to activate," said Liam thoughtfully.  
  
"Until this afternoon."  
  
"Yes, but Ha'gel helped me. He took my hands, pointed my palms at the Dark Matter and let part of his energy flow through me into my Shaqarava. I don't know if I could have done it by myself."  
  
"And he didn't explain what he did?"  
  
"No, not really," Liam walked back to the couch and sat down again, his fears slowly abating, "He told me that this was just the first step I have to take to find my spirit self, but I'm not sure if he meant me dispelling the Dark Matter or me losing my Shaqarava. I asked him if I would ever see him again and he answered that I am closer to them now, than I've ever been before and that he would be in touch. And he said that he was proud of me. That meant a lot to me. Then he was gone as abruptly as he appeared."  
  
"I'm still amazed that he showed up at all. I mean, several people saw him die the day you were born."  
  
"Yeah, he took me by surprise too. I even thought for a moment that I'd died, that that Skrill blast from Sandoval had somehow reached me," Here Liam chuckled dryly, "It actually was the first question I asked Ha'gel. He seemed amused by it," He sighed deeply, "It felt great to be able to talk to him like that, even if it did not nearly last long enough. I'd been wishing for that for so long. I wish I could do it more often." Melissa did not quite know what to say to that, so she just took his cold hand in her own to squeeze it softly. Liam smiled a little at that and yawned suddenly.  
  
"Tired?" asked Melissa and Liam nodded dimly.  
  
"Yeah, though drained is a better word for it," he grinned.  
  
"Well, I'm gonna make myself another cup of tea before I turn in. You want one too?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
He watched as Melissa got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. Leaning back he tried to assess how he felt about the outcome of the tests and decided he was relieved.  
  
Relieved that he was still good old Liam, even if he no longer had his Shaqarava. Looking down at his hands he smiled slightly. His hands still refused to believe that the tiny organs were gone by the feel of it. Well, they would just have to get used to it, just like he did.  
  
Melissa came back to hand him his glass and for some time they sat side by side, both silent, absorbed in their own thoughts as they drank their tea. When his glass was empty Liam put it down on the table and got up.  
  
"I should probably go home now," he said and felt faint surprise when Melissa shook her head.  
  
"You should, but you won't. I don't want you driving when you're this tired and my guestroom doesn't get used enough as it is," she said with a smile, "Besides, I put a sedative in your tea that should start to work any minute. I don't think you'd get further than the next street."  
  
"You drugged me?!" exclaimed Liam.  
  
"Yes, I did, because I know you. You won't allow yourself to rest, because of what happened today and rest is exactly what your body and mind need right now. I wasn't kidding when I said that your energy matrix is almost dangerously depleted."  
  
Liam looked at her a moment longer, debating whether to become angry with her or to give in to the sleepiness that suddenly seemed about to overwhelm him. In the end his sleepiness won and he let Melissa show him to the guestroom upstairs. Sitting him down on the edge of the bed she helped him to get his sneakers and jeans off before making him lie down and tucking him in. He was already almost completely asleep when she bowed down to give him a very soft, tender kiss on his forehead. His eyes opened and he looked up at her with a wistful, almost childish expression on his relaxing face.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Melissa and Liam smiled shyly.  
  
"Nobody's ever done that before. Thanks, Park," he mumbled drowsily and before she could come up with an answer to that his eyes drifted closed and the sedative pulled him into a deep sleep.  
  
For a couple of minutes more she sat there on the edge of his bed, looking at this child who she loved like he was her own. Softly stroking his hair she marvelled at the innocence in his face now that he slept. He looked so peaceful for a change. It was a far cry from the turmoil within herself. She had not told Liam the complete truth about what the test had shown her, had just given him enough information to ease his fears.  
  
He did not have to know about the fact that yes, his Kimeran DNA was still present, but in a dormant state, much like his Shaqarava had been these last few months. It confirmed the change she had seen in the tests of the last couple of months. Liam was changing and she had no idea who or what he would be when that change was complete. Ha´gel had seen the change too, she was sure, might even know what it would ultimately lead to, but she had no way to ask him.  
  
Getting up from the bed she moved to the door and killed the light before softly closing the door behind her. In her own bedroom she sat down on the edge of her bed and picked up the global lying there. She dictated the message in short, professional sentences, before setting the timer and closing the instrument. The message would be delivered to Julienne Belman the next morning and then an appointment to meet would be made. They had a lot to talk about.  
  
Sighing deeply Melissa slipped between the sheets, killed the light and closed her eyes. But sleep evaded her for a long time.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The end! 


End file.
